11th Principle: Consent
Hearing a loud, enthusiastic YES lets me know you are so into this.
Hearing a clear NO lets me know you are being real and are taking care of yourself.
Hearing you ask for my CONSENT lets me know I am safe with you, you know we might operate differently, and you care for my needs and my boundaries.
Asking for consent and talking about personal boundaries are cornerstones of a healthy connection and community.
Consent applies (but is not limited) to:
Touch: Just because you hugged someone yesterday doesn’t mean you can surprise them with a hug today. “Surprise contact” isn’t always wanted, even if it’s affectionate.
Kink: Consent for one thing isn’t consent for another. If I said you could spank me, that doesn’t give you permission to grope me.
Sex: Consent can be revoked once it’s been given.
Gifts: Disclose what is in your gifts, even if it’s just essential oils. Some people have sensitivities.
Foods: Disclose the ingredients, one person’s innocuous ingredient can be someone else’s allergy.
Photography: Ask before taking pictures. Remember, consent to take a picture is NOT consent to post it on your blog.
Stay aware: Can they consent? Can you consent?
Being intoxicated to any degree impacts our ability to give informed consent. If in any doubt about your or their level of awareness, arrange to meet later for a clear-headed continuation of consensual fun
Consent is about respect and personal boundaries.
NO means NO
SILENCE means NO
CONSENT is a YES! , not the absence of NO
“Maybe,” “not now,” “I’m not sure,” and other variations of this are still no-consent situations.
If you’re ever in doubt, talk more; clarify the boundaries and consent.
We value the transformative experience of sensual and consensual touch, play, and interaction. We believe that consent plays a vital part in our connectivity and community. Our vision is that all parties participate in a physical encounter from a place of enthusiasm and autonomy. Consent must be explicitly granted from an individual who is clearly in a state of mind to be able to grant it. (from The 11th Principle: Consent! mission statement)
If You See Something, Say Something!
Who should you ask for help?
Get a Ranger. Our first responders are needed when immediate action is needed. Ask for Consentina or a crew shift.
In a burn and everyday life: never ever be hesitant to step in, even if in doubt.
Never be embarrassed to ask for consent, say a clear No, or say a loud Yes.
We are participants in this life, not bystanders.
May the play and exploration commence! With all the fun, power and blaze each of us consented to!
